Thursday, November 29, 2012

Cream, Chocolate Syrup... and Nothing Else

I met Lola and Albert this afternoon for a quick beer (a little one). I ending up having two quick little ones. Lola told an embarrassing story about herself and when I jokingly said I would share the story on my blog, she told me I could. That surprised me. But then Lola explained that she had simply been embarrassed, not ashamed.

Lola is carrying on a long-distance casual romance. I'll just call him "The Flame." Anyway, while sitting at home the other evening, Lola and The Flame were exchanging text messages. He got a little frisky. At one point, he told her what he was wearing (unfortunately, she didn't share that info with us) and asked her what she had on. The conversation took place in Spanish, but I've saved you the trouble of translating.

Lola told The Flame she was wearing, "a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up."

"Anything else?" he asked.

"Tight black leggings," she responded.

Then she added, "And I'm covered in cream and chocolate syrup." She again hit SEND.

Somehow that last message didn't go back to The Flame. Somehow it went instead to Lola's 16-year-old son's 29-year-old private tutor.

ALBERT WITH THE ALLURING AND UNAPOLOGETIC LOLA.

Lola's heart rose to her throat. She immediately texted the tutor and simply said, "Sorry. Obviously that wasn't intended for you. My apologies."

The 29-year-old private tutor immediately texted back, "No problem."

The next night was the tutor's night to come to the house. Lola was in the main salon when he arrived. She didn't look up from her seat and simply mumbled that her son was upstairs. The tutor headed up without an embarrassing scene. Lola was greatly relieved, but couldn't wait until he left the house.

About an hour later, he came back downstairs. Lola busied herself in the salon hoping he would simply let himself out. But he entered the room and said, "I have a gift for you."

"Oh God," she thought, "What could this be?"

He handed her a small bag. She took it timidly and peered inside. It was a container of cream. "Have a good night," he laughed as he saw himself out.

 I TOLD THE STORY TO DUDO WHEN I GOT HOME.
UNLIKE LOLA, HE WAS MORTIFIED.

28 comments:

  1. Oh that is brilliant!! I love it. Tell Lola she made my day.

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  2. Well, Mitch, did you ask Lola if there was any churros dipping involved?...lol

    saludos,
    raulito

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Raulito:
      I've learned to not ask for the details. I'm sure to get them!

      Delete
  3. Chocolate drips everywhere, you're much better off in Marmite.

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    Replies
    1. Owl Wood:
      And Albert said to never try marmalade.

      Delete
  4. Fun story, but where was the chocolate to go with the cream? And it's widely known that cats mortify easily.

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    Replies
    1. Stephen:
      Maybe Lola is expected to provide her own chocolate? As for cats, Dudo needs to relax his morals just a bit.

      Delete
  5. That is fabulous.
    What a brilliant sense of humor.

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    Replies
    1. Bob:
      The tutor certainly made it much easier for Lola to face him. Great.

      Delete
  6. Hilarious! Luckily the tutor had a good sense of humour.
    Cats are such prudes!

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    Replies
    1. Jim:
      I thought the tutor handled it beautifully (so did Lola). And, yes, cats ARE prudes.

      Delete
  7. The tutor sounds like a cool dude!

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    Replies
    1. Ms. Sparrow:
      Albert and I asked what he looked like. Lola was too mature to tell us.

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. Judeet:
      You made me laugh out loud. This is a side of you I didn't know!

      Delete
  9. That is so funny... the best humor is when we can laugh at ourselves! Cats just take themselves way too seriously ;-)

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  10. The Anonymous Cousin30 November, 2012 02:43

    I was expecting a delicious egg cream recipe, dammit.

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    Replies
    1. AC:
      Now even I know how to make an egg cream, so I'm sure YOU don't need the recipe!

      Delete
  11. Loved that story! ANd I would like an egg cream recipe, too. :)

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    Replies
    1. Knatolee:
      As I mentioned to my sweet cousin above, egg creams are so easy even I can make them (although it IS a major cooking event when I do). Milk, seltzer, chocolate syrup. Stir.

      Delete
  12. Love the story!

    I think the tutor sounds like quite a babe.

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    Replies
    1. Judith:
      Lola, for some reason, was being respectable when we asked about him. All she would say is he's as tall as I am.

      Delete
  13. Replies
    1. Kisatrtle:
      If you need help with your "math," I'll give him your contact info.

      Delete
  14. I'll have to remember that. "Oh I didn't mean that text for you." Good one.

    ReplyDelete

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