Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Dudo Gives Me The Bird


"Miiiitchellllll!"

"What?!?"

"I need your help!!!"

"What happened?"

"Dudo caught a bird on the terrace! He's on my rug! I can't get it out of his mouth."

What the hell could San Geraldo be thinking?!? He wants me to do something about a cat with a bird in his mouth? My mother is the frickin' Dowager Duchess! (Sorry, Mom, but that's how it ran through my head.)

I grab an old hand towel from the laundry room and head to San Geraldo's bedroom. Dudo runs out between my legs — bird in mouth. I try to grab him and he growls at me before running under the dining room table. He actually growls at me!

Dudo then runs back into San Geraldo's room. I follow. He jumps up on the bed, where he crouches facing me — bird still in mouth.

I tap on the bed directly in front of him and command, "Dudo, drop the bird!"

He does. I wasn't expecting that!

The bird is very clearly dead. I quickly grab it up in the towel. San Geraldo is ready with a plastic bag. I shove both towel and bird in bag. Then I go all over the house with spray cleaner and paper towels and pick up bird feathers. Dudo follows along faithfully — at first, licking his chops!. He's beside himself with joy. I have a hard time looking at him for the rest of the night.

I thought Dudo would be angry with me, but he's even more attentive now. Maybe he sees me as his accomplice. Maybe he thinks he caught the bird and I ate it.

He woke me this morning at 7:00 to play with him. He brought strings (formerly mice) onto the bed and we played for a half hour. I usually don't give into him like that, but now that I know he's a cold-blooded killer, I'm thinking it might be better to do what he says. Also, I figure as long as we play with fake prey, he won't be out catching the real thing. But maybe I'm just helping him perfect his murderous skills.

"PLAY WITH ME AND NO ONE ELSE GETS HURT."
(Truth be told, Dudo is right now sound asleep on my lap. I know he was only doing what comes naturally. I suppose I should be honored. After all, he did finally share his catch with me. Maybe he just knew sparrow wouldn't be on San Geraldo's diet.)

31 comments:

  1. It's like reading David Sedaris sometimes :) My favorite line: I usually don't give into him like that, but now that I know he's a cold-blooded killer, I'm thinking it might be better to do what he says.

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    Replies
    1. Judy:
      Ooh! Being compared to David Sedaris! And I thought I loved you before!

      Delete
    2. I thought you'd like that... but, it's sincere!

      Delete
  2. Oi, the memories! I once had a cat that Jenn named Sir Thomas Munchalot ,who dropped a (live) mouse down the front of my blouse...then he and the dog tried to get it back out. Needless to say, the blouse came off and the mouse ran out...and Sir Thomas had the nerve to look offended! Guess he thought I was hungry?
    You didn't pick Dudo up in Italy by any chance?
    Oh, and Jenn asked me to pass along a little message, in re: Knitting a sweater. "Sure 'Unka' Mitchell, as soon as you send me the pattern, yarn, and knitting needles." Yes, that was accompanied by a wicked wee giggle.

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    1. Jacquelineand...
      I've never had a killer cat before. It was a bit unnerving!

      But THAT's a story: Sir Thomas getting you so quickly out of your blouse!

      As for Jenn, she doesn't know what she started! Pattern, yarn, knitting needles... Hmmmm

      Delete
  3. Of course my first thoughts are... where did he catch the bird? Dudo doesn't leave the patio, does he? And... what species of bird is it? You could have included a photo of the bird... Really though, you should be honored that he brings you a gift. It may not be what you wanted but I'll bet it's Godiva chocolates to Dudo.

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    1. Sharon:
      Even I couldn't bear to take a picture of this for the blog. Dudo and Moose have taken to lurking under the shrubs on the terrace. This unsuspecting sparrow (thankfully not a goldfinch or something more exotic) flew in and Dudo pounced.

      Delete
  4. LOL! Sharing his 'killings' with you Mitchell! Doesn't get better than that.....in a cat's world. I think he likes you....really likes you!

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    1. Jim:
      He tried to get me to play again at 6:30 this morning. But I decided to break him of the habit (with Dudo, do it once and it's a habit). He doesn't scare me!

      Delete
  5. Couple of true stories:

    #1: From the news yesterday comes the story of a couple who had a cat and a 7-month old baby.
    Cat scratches baby; father kicks cat in the butt.
    Cats hisses and spits and tries to attack the man and his family.
    The man calls 911 to have the police come because his housecat has him trapped in the bedroom with his wife and child.
    Plus: you can hear the cat howling on the 911 tape.

    #2: Years back my mother and father had a large grey cat. My father build a cat door in a window so the cat could go in and out.
    The cat would jump on a small table in the house, go through the window to the BBQ outside, and then hop down and go about his way.
    One morning my mother came into the mudroom--where the cat door was located--and saw the cat sitting on the table. She gave him a quick pat on the head and then went to have her coffee.
    While pouring coffee, she saw the cat asleep on the couch in the living room.
    How did he get there?
    She looked back into the mudroom and on the table was a large grey rabbit that the cat had found, killed, carried home, lugged up onto the BBQ, pushed or pulled through the window, and then left on the table as a gift.

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    Replies
    1. Bob:
      #1 is unbelievably creepy. How hard do you suppose the father kick the cat "in the butt"?
      #2 is a scene from a movie. Hilarious.

      Delete
  6. A doubt a cat understands why you have a problem with him honing his hunting skills. He probably intended to give you the bird as a gift, probably believes you accepted his gift when you took the bird from him.

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    Replies
    1. Stephen:
      I think you're right. He's once again asleep on my lap.

      Delete
  7. Cats are from outer space and up to no good.

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    1. Spo:
      I won't tell Dudo you said that. What he doesn't know can't hurt you.

      Delete
    2. My two cats told me all about it; they said I could 'spread the word' after their demise.

      Delete
  8. The only thing worse than dealing with a cat with a dead bird in its mouth is when the bird is still cheeping. That is just unbearable, though it hasn't happened (yet?) with my current duo.
    I think Dudo is satisfied that you've taken his 'gift' with due appreciation - and one can only hope that he feels his present duty has been discharged, until he feels it's time to give you another.

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    Replies
    1. Raybeard:
      That WOULD be unbearable. San Geraldo has dealt with that in the past (but not from our cats). It was really hard for him. I don't know how I would be able to deal with it.

      Dudo and I have been playing three times as much. We played a lot to begin with, but I think he's telling me that if I keep him safely occupied, he won't go on a killing spree. I'm very willing to comply.

      Delete
  9. Nice photoshopping! Bertie is a hunter. Outdoors. I moved something in the garage two weeks ago and found his stash. There was one very large dessicated rat, whole, one freshly killed vole, two rabbit's feet, separated, along with the rabbit's little cotton tail, all arrayed neatly on the floor. He's also brought home a whole female pheasant and consumed it over two days. He has approached us on several occasions with a bird in his mouth. We call out to him, "Hi, Bertie," and he meows. At that instant the bird flies out of his mouth and escapes.

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    Replies
    1. Walt the Fourth:
      What Photoshopping? Oh, you mean the greener eyes in that first photo.

      Truthfully, thanks! After I drew the hand/paw, I realized I should have drawn it just the reverse, but then decided you'd get the point.

      I suppose, if I lived in the "country" with Bertie, I'd get used to finding his stashes. But, blech! The "Hi, Bertie" trick is hilarious.

      Delete
  10. Dudo the Barbarian! It's, unfortunately, what they do. Slinky once brought home a baby bird in his mouth. Guess what, the bloody thing was alive. I spent the next 3 months rearing the ugliest baby pigeon you have ever seen. His head was all chewed, missing feathers, but he grew into a beauty and we released him one spring morning. I cried. He came back to our balcony often to get seed. We knew it was him on account of the bald spot Slinky left on his head. Another time were were picnicking when a farm cat came along and helped himself to our chicken liver pate. It was obviously so grateful it brought us a still warm dead rabbit. A fitting reward for our pate in its pea brain. Cats, they are WEIRD!
    Di
    X

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    1. YONKS:
      That farm cat brought you fresh food and all he got was chopped liver?!?

      Delete
  11. Passing through via Going Gently. I love birds. I can't believe I laughed so hard. "The bird is very clearly dead." Why is that funny? Haha.

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    1. Susie:
      Thanks so much for stopping by! It didn't seem funny as I wrote it, but when I read it back, the whole thing made me chuckle a little. I love "Going Gently" and I think that alone says I'm just a little twisted. (And, of course, I only speak for myself).

      Delete
  12. We were misguided enough to have a cat door off of the porch for a while. In the summer Satchel brought us voles, moles, birds, chipmunks, squirrels, and a baby rabbit, all alive. At least it wasn't all in the same day.

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    Replies
    1. Marty:
      I had thought of a cat door. Then I remembered a friend in San Diego that had one: Skunks would come in at night and eat the cat food. Now even more reasons not to!

      Delete
  13. At least you didn't have to cook the little bird. ;-)

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  14. Well my little Nora (wirehair Dachshund) would be sure to bring in a big fat dead rat. So I suppose a little bird is somewhat better.

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    1. Laurent:
      Blech! But I suppose that would be a lot better than Nora bringing in a big fat LIVE one!

      Delete
    2. LOL! that would not be difficult Ottawa is the Federal Capital lots of live one around here. LOL!

      Delete

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