Friday, June 13, 2014

Waterworld: The Sequel

If you've never seen Kevin Costner's 1995 film "Waterworld," don't go running to rent it now. It doesn't even rate as one of those "bad movies we love to hate." It's just simply bad.

OK. That's not fair. In my humble opinion, "Waterworld" was awful. But that's only my opinion. I'm sure others enjoyed it and would recommend it.

WATERWORLD 1995: MAYBE IT WAS THE COSTUMES... AND HAIR... AND STORY... AND...
I'M SORRY!  I'M SORRY!

I also thought "Titanic" (1997) was awful. Obviously, that opinion is not shared by many people. I saw "Titanic" in San Diego with San Geraldo and his mother, Alice. I sat between them. Both were chewing their fingers and crying. In disgust, I finally turned to San Geraldo and said, "Jerry, the boat DOES sink." I couldn't help myself.

TITANIC 1997:  ROMANCE SHMOE-MANCE.

After sitting through nearly 194 minutes of what I considered slow torture, I was furious when Rose took that priceless diamond (the Heart of the Ocean) and threw it overboard. Do you know how many families could have been fed on that one little trinket?!? San Geraldo told me it was romantic. I say, "Poop!"

OVERBOARD?  REALLY?

Maybe I just have a problem with water-related films. Although I did like "Poseidon Adventure." And I adored "Finding Nemo."

But I didn't come here today as a critic or to start a dialog about everyone's favorite (and least favorite) films. I'm here today to share photos of the newest Waterworld. It's not often I like a sequel better than the original. Unlike Costner's "Waterworld," Fuengirola's Waterworld is a much happier place. You do have to swim to it. But you don't have to have gills. It's actually called Costa Water Park (I think it should be called Mundo Aquático, which is what the 1995 film was called in Spain). The booth is set up not far from us on the beach in Los Boliches, and we can see the "floating world" from our terrace. But I took a walk on the beach today to get a better view. (Click any image to increase the fun.)

TRAMPOLINES, SLIDES, EVEN A VOLCANO (AN INFLATED ROCK-CLIMBING WALL).
THE BEACH WAS MUCH MORE CROWDED HERE. I'M GLAD IT'S NOT IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE.
THE GUY FAR RIGHT WALKED AND THEN SWAM (ONE-ARMED)
WITH HIS T-SHIRT ROLLED UP AND HELD OVER HIS HEAD TO KEEP IT DRY.
T-SHIRT STILL HIGH AND DRY AS HE NEARS ONE OF THE "LILY PADS."
I'LL HAVE TO FIND OUT THE WEIGHT LIMIT.
(IT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD EVEN HANDLE KEVIN COSTNER.)
A NEW ATTRACTION THIS YEAR.
"T-SHIRT GUY" WEARING THE T-SHIRT TO SWIM AND WALK BACK. (DON'T ASK ME.)
JUMPING OFF A LILY PAD.

"In an ocean or in a glass, cool water is such a gas." — The Beachboys

27 comments:

  1. I hear you about both those movies, Mitchell. Waterworld drowned as far as I am concerned. We are the only 2 people we know who didn't see Titanic! I just couldn't bring myself and watch all those people die.
    So, when are you two swimming out to the Costa Park? Never a dull moment around your shore.

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    1. Jim:
      There's more than one Waterworld The Sequel along the beach. So many choices! I've learned from this post how many people felt the same way I did about "Titanic." Even the Dowager Duchess, who was afraid to admit it because everyone she knew raved about it.

      Delete
  2. I HATED THAT MOVIE! Waterworld... what a BORE. Really, I don't like futuristic movies, so I had no business seeing it, I guess. But, honestly. Can you get more dreary?
    On the other hand, I LOVE your Fuengirola Water Park! Oooh! The pictures are sooooooo inviting! Oh, I'm groaning with frustration that I am not ocean-side at this very moment.

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    Replies
    1. Judy:
      Costa Water Park runs a number of these plus things near the Castle (on the river). It's all waiting for you.

      Delete
  3. p.s. Surely you know which Seinfeld episode your post made me think of? Just saw it again recently :)

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    1. Judy:
      So, that old woman, she's just a liar, right?

      Delete
  4. Hurrah, another Titanic hater. Agree with you 100% I thought it was awful and about two years too long. But Waterworld...well, I know it's a mess but I quite liked it (parts of it, anyway). Though to be fair, I have never met anyone else who did!

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    1. Judith:
      Apparently, there are a lot of us out there (Titanic)! Not lots of you regarding Waterworld!

      Delete
  5. I refused to watch Titanic for the exact premise - everyone knows it sinks - still have managed to avoid watching it all these years later! Waterworld, yes it sucked. Might be fun to watch your beach side waterworld antics though. Cheers!

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    1. Cheapchick:
      Fuengirola Waterworld: Not much of a plot, but very entertaining.

      Delete
  6. 'Waterworld' was a sopping wet mess.
    I have not, nor will I ever see, 'Titanic.'
    'Poseidon' I lovelovelove! C'mon, Shelly Winters under water? How can you not?
    'Nemo.' Ellen.

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    1. Bob:
      I don't think I even remember anything else about "Poseidon Adventure" other than the Shelly Winters swim.

      Delete
  7. Waterworld sucked worse than a broken Dyson....Poseidon Adventure? Is it bad that I found it hysterically funny? Titanic was overblown in too many ways to count.
    I think I'll just go to the pool. =)

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    1. Jacqueline:
      I have to admit, I found "Poseidon Adventure" very campy at times. "Waterworld" I found entirely humorless.

      Delete
  8. Wait... I thought grazin' in the grass was a gas. Or was that Jumpin' Jack Flash? And why do I keep puttin' apostrophes in place of the "g" ? Now, is that question mark supposed to go inside the quotes? It looks funny both ways. What was your post about again? ...

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    1. Walt the Fourth:
      To clarify: Grazin' in the grass is a gas, baby, can you dig it? Jumping jack flash, it's a gas. Cool water is such a gas. I think the handled the question mark beautifully.

      Delete
  9. When I saw 'Waterworld' on its cinema release all those years ago it was already garlanded with appalling reviews from the very start - so, prepared for the worst, it turned out to be, for me, not quite the abysmal clunker I'd expected. I now remember little about it, save the late, great Dennis Hopper playing his usual baddie with swivel-eyed relish. That, at least, made it worthwhile.

    I'll stick my neck out and say that I did NOT think that 'Titanic' was such an awful film, though probably in a minority in holding that view. A few years back a BBC survey asked film enthusiasts to name the worst film of all time. This was voted top (or bottom?) which is patently ridiculous. I must have seen well over a thousand films I'd nominate immeasurably worse than 'Titanic'.

    If you haven't seen it, don't bother with the re-make of 'The Poseidon Adventure' called, I think, just 'Poseidon'' It could hardly have been more forgettable compared with the original - rather like the pointless re-make of the far superior original 'The Omen'..

    Btw: I didn't know this Beach Boys song. It's....well, COOL!

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    1. Raybeard:
      OK, Dennis Hopper was the high point of Waterworld. Although I, and now I've learned apparently many others, hated "Titanic," it was awfully popular and an awfully huge hit to deserve that rating on the BBC survey. I saw "Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" and made it through a half hour before giving up. It was beyond bad! I LOVE this Beach Boy's song!

      Delete
  10. Like you, I wasn't a fan of either one of those movies. That water park looks like fun. I'm seriously thinking about moving to your city.

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    1. Stephen:
      I think there's still an apartment for sale in our building!

      Delete
  11. Waterworld is interesting maybe nice but I wouldn't like to have it in front of my house. What about Titanic I have had mixed feeling but definitely is not my favourite film.

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    1. Gosia:
      We noticed another couple of those "Waterworlds" along the beach, which is 7.5km long. The one we can see from our terrace offers a fun view, but it does cluster more people on that stretch. I'm glad it's about .5 km away.

      Delete
  12. You sound more cheerful
    As for water world
    Crock of shite

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    1. John:
      Yep, so much better. (If you don't like my mood just wait a half hour!)

      Delete
  13. Re: your comment on 'Beyond the Poseidon Adventure' (above). Without wishing to labour an insignificant point, particularly with your b/day and travels only hours away, did you really mean the 1979 film with Michael Caine? I was referring to the 2006 re-made 'Poseidon' featuring, among others, Richard Dreyfuss in a gay role. In either case it makes little difference. Both were worth missing.
    I still find it hard to see 'Titanic' as a 'bad' film, though. Not a GREAT one, certainly, but I've seen several thousand (literally!) worse.
    (Sorry, but I'm not able to post this comment as a direct 'reply' to your comment above.)

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    1. Raybeard:
      I had no idea there was more than one follow-up to the Poseidon Adventure. I saw the 1979 film. Never was even aware (obviously, thankfully) of the more recent remake.

      Delete
  14. I am blessed to have miss WW; but I am curious now to see what all the hurly-burly is about.

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