Friday, February 26, 2016

Uncut And Stuffed

Thursday night at dinner, our waiter very kindly brought us a complementary appetizer. A small plate containing what looked like an uncircumcised penis, hollowed out, stuffed with something, and lying atop a bed of seasoned rice.

The rice looked good.

On closer inspection, I saw that the dead penis was filled with bits of tiny squid and ground pork. I guessed, correctly, that the thick skin had been part of a much larger squid. We learned once we moved to Spain that squid, like penises, come in all sizes.

San Geraldo said, "What smells?"

I touched the penis with my fork and exposed ground meat and little squid legs.

San Geraldo — who will usually try anything unless it contains walnuts, coconut, or olives — refused to take a taste.

I — who will usually hesitate to try anything that doesn't contain recognizable elements, like walnuts, coconut, or olives — took a teeny taste.

That teeny taste was immediately followed by a slug of Málaga wine, which was followed by a thick slice of bread.

San Geraldo began to cut into the penis for a closer look.

Still chewing bread and unable to bare ... bear a closer look, I pushed his hand away, and covered the plate with a cocktail napkin.

CHIPIRONES, CALAMARE RELLONOS, POTAS Y CALAMARES.
(SQUID, STUFFED, SQUID, BIG SQUID AND LITTLE SQUID.... AND VERY GOOD RICE.)

We apologized to the waiter for being so ungracious and so lacking in taste.

A moment later, a very elegant couple at a nearby table had an entire huge plate of dead, uncircumcised, stuffed penis and consumed it greedily. Shows how much WE know!

FROM THE WEB: KIND OF WHAT OURS LOOKED LIKE.

36 comments:

  1. sorry but I am holding back for my gag reflect is taking flight!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ron:
      Hence, the quick use of the cocktail napkin.

      Delete
  2. Oh boy! I am with you guys on this one!! Appearance is half the battle with unknown foods, as is texture!! And I can only imagine the texture of this THING!!
    I wish I was watching all this go down. Hilarious! I'll never look at calamare the same again!!

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    Replies
    1. Jim:
      We both love calamari, although I'm usually even more particular about its appearance than is Jerry.

      Delete
  3. Does not sound appetizing. I'd have given it a try but I doubt I'd have liked it any more than you.

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    Replies
    1. Stephen:
      And yet people (lots of people) love it. Oh well, it's not as if we don't have other options.

      Delete
  4. I love squid and have even made stuffed squid that was very nice. I think I put in mushrooms and onions and served in a red sauce over pasta. It was a long time ago, so am hazy on the details. But fried calamari is still my favorite way to have squid. Sorry it was such a traumatic experience for you! Hope it doesn't spoil your appetite.

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    Replies
    1. Wilma:
      I like fried calamari, but have never been big on other (more recognizable) forms. And don't worry, I quickly recovered my appetite.

      Delete
  5. I have never understood the attraction of squid -- en su tinta, worse yet! On the other hand, I had octopus in Spain (just the tentacles) on pizza of all things. And it wasn't half bad. And tiny little intact octopi showed up in a Thai stew that was quite lovely at a DC restaurant.

    Full disclosure: Not much of a seafood eater most of the time anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michael:
      Obviously, I don't understand the attraction either. But I don't even enjoy octopus... especially intact.

      Delete
  6. My aunt used to make stuffed calamari in a tomato sauce. Very good, though a little tough sometimes. I prefer calamari breaded and fried, so long as it is fresh, not frozen.

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    Replies
    1. Frank:
      The "tough sometimes" is what would get me. If it's too chewy, it really turns me off. Breaded and fried (and not tough) is my favorite way.

      Delete
  7. Lol ...looks like stuffed calamari which we have here. Doesn't look nice but taste good

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    Replies
    1. Small Kucing:
      Not my cup of tea, but I think I'm in the minority.

      Delete
    2. Should have stuck to cod and chips on the seafront

      Delete
    3. Sally:
      I'd rather take my chances.

      Delete
  8. I love squid fried or otherwise. But unless this tasted great the presentation would be hard to get past. I did laugh before I saw the last picture

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    Replies
    1. MaryAnn:
      It obviously tasted great to others nearby. So, I think you would have liked it.

      Delete
  9. Trolling for hits again! That looks and sounds delicious! Have you never encountered stuffed squid before now?

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    Replies
    1. Walt the Fourth:
      I wouldn't troll for hits (who needs accidental tourists); I just like to make my faithful readers wonder. Oddly, I had seen stuffed squid plenty of times, but it was always presented in slices. I still didn't eat it, but I didn't find it quite so obscene.

      Delete
  10. Squid is amongst my favourite fishy foods.

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    Replies
    1. Heron:
      And there's the operative word, "fishy." I'm one of those "limited" diners who loves seafood as long as it's not fishy.

      Delete
  11. I do wonder if I'd have thought of their "look-alike" if you hadn't brought it to my attention? .... now I'll probably look at all food served to me with a different eye.

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    Replies
    1. Sharon:
      I'm sorry to damage your innocent outlook.

      Delete
  12. I thought this was supposed to be a "family" show?

    What smells? Not a sentence one wants to see in restaurant review?

    Always fun here !!!!

    Bon Appetite
    Tim

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    Replies
    1. Theaterdog:
      Where do you think "families" come from?

      Delete
  13. Replies
    1. Bob:
      But, it's a love pack for your tummy.

      Delete
  14. I'll try (almost)anything once, actually looks like it could be interesting. I like seafood.

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    Replies
    1. Travel:
      Although I obviously am not a fan, I would definitely recommend it. It's very popular.

      Delete
  15. The only way I will eat squid is deep fried....that sounds revolting. Difficult when they bring you a weird freebie.

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    Replies
    1. Cheapchick:
      We're in a small minority of people who don't like this. So, don't take my assessment as a review. But, yeah, I'm the fried squid type.

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. Spo:
      It DOES make your knees squeeze together, doesn't it?

      Delete
  17. Thank god for wine and bread!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brittany:
      That's what I say! But is this not something you like?

      Delete

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