Friday, August 25, 2017

Alternative Cracks / Huchas Alternativas

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

AFTER SEEING THE man on the beach the other day who cleverly hid his butt crack using the label from his bathing suit (click here if you didn't meet him), I decided to help some of my neighbors. I came across two men who had no idea their butt cracks were exposed.

I slipped my fingers into their cracks and pulled up the labels from their bathing suits. Because I'm helpful like that.

DESPUÉS DE VER el hombre en la playa el otro día que se escondió su hucha con la etiqueta del traje de baño (haz clic aquí si no lo conoció), decidí ayudar a algunos de mis vecinos. Me encontré dos hombres que no tenían ni idea que sus huchas fueron expuestos.

Me pasé los dedos en las huchas y levanté las etiquetas de los trajes. Porque soy útil como eso.





Oddly, neither man seemed pleased. So I shoved the labels back in. Even that didn't make them happy. Ingrates!

Curiosamente, ninguno de los dos parecía feliz. Así que volví a poner las etiquetas. Incluso eso no los hacía felices. ¡Ingratos!




OK, I didn't actually do it (it's Photoshop). But I really, really wanted to.

OK, en realidad no lo hice (es Photoshop). Pero realmente quería hacerlo.

32 comments:

  1. the first pix crack is fine; the second pix crack should be covered by a black stripe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. anne marie:
      Ha! I actually enjoyed the robustness of that second guy.

      Delete
  2. Wow, you're gonna be busy in Photoshop all season long!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bob:
      I'm really considering forgetting Photoshop and just doing it by hand.

      Delete
  3. And in the day of "fake news" this isn't helping, even with the disclaimer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Frank:
      Not everyone actually reads all the way through. I'm sure some people believe I'm living dangerously.

      Delete
  4. An umbrella would have been better :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheapchick:
      Now THAT'S a great idea. Maybe next time... But not using Photoshop.

      Delete
  5. If you had truly done that I imagined you were writing from the hospital.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sillygirl:
      Or I could have made two new friends!

      Delete
  6. You should advertise your services: "Crack Elimination by Mitchell". You would make a killing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wilma:
      Great idea. I could also simply pull up their shorts... in Photoshop (although I'm often tempted to actually do it).

      Delete
  7. I don't think I've ever had mine show in public

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adam:
      As far as I know, I never have either... As far as I know.

      Delete
  8. I was wondering if you'd really done it. I think thast might be a dangerous thing to do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephen:
      It would either be dangerous or it would expand my group of friends very quickly.

      Delete
  9. Dana Andrews is spinning in his grave.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Walt the Fourth:
      I don't know what this means. Did he like to expose his hucha?

      Delete
    2. He was in a movie called "Crack in the World." 'nuff said.

      Delete
  10. I've never understood why people get do unhappy about a little but crack showing - we all have one, some of them are kinda-cute.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Travel:
      Sometimes it's actually very attractive. I suppose it depends on the crack.

      Delete
  11. But, but, but the builders do it all of the time ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heron:
      And in the USA, the plumber's do it.

      Delete
  12. Yes you did!? You have become the 'fashion police'.....could be very lucrative!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jim:
      Can you imagine walking around town pulling out people's labels? I'm always tempted to tuck them in when the stick above collars.

      Delete
  13. I was saddened to see your thoughtful assistance with gentlemen's attire is met with ingratitude.
    Perhaps it is about technique; you need to practice as often as you can.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spo:
      Well, I didn't want to say it but there was a third guy who asked me to do it again... and again.

      Delete
  14. If they only knew that you enjoying a wee bit joy at their expense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ron:
      Yeah... I don't think I'll tell them.

      Delete
  15. From what I can see of them, those men look rather nice sans shirts, so I can forgive the cracks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kirk:
      I figure if they're comfortable, that's all that matters. Of course, that doesn't stop me from sharing pictures.

      Delete

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