Tuesday, August 15, 2017

It's Good For You / Es Bueno Para Tí

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

MY MOTHER THE Dowager Duchess was obsessed with healthy eating.

When we were growing up, Dale, The Kid Brother, and I, took more than six vitamin supplements every morning. "No butter." "No need to add salt." "Both your grandmothers were Diabetic. You don't need sugar." "White rice is not healthy." "Neither is white flour."

I can tell you she wasn't as saintly as she professed. She lived for ice cream and always had some in the freezer. Frozen yogurt and ice milk were unacceptable substitutes. Whenever we arrived for a visit, she had packages of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies (double-chocolate). "They're for you," she said. I shared with her. When she was in her 80s, I would say, "So, if you have that white potato, will you only live to 103 instead of 104?" "Bite your tongue! If this is the way my body feels now, who wants to live to 104!" "Then eat the potato!" It didn't work. Usually.

Even into her 89th year, she would tell of the perils of unhealthy eating. For more than 30 years, San Geraldo would obstinately fill up a bag with pastries simply because he had looked in a bakery window to hear The Duchess say, "You don't need that, Jerry."

She had a great new doctor in her last year of life. At the end of an appointment he offered her a chocolate. She had diabetes (under control with medication), high-blood pressure (never under control), a bad heart, severe osteoporosis, and a myriad of other ailments that living a long life pretty much guarantees. She said to the doctor, "Oh, I can't have chocolate."

The doctor smiled and asked, "How old are you?"

She answered proudly, "88."

He smiled again and said, "Have a chocolate. And take one for the ride home."

She died about four months later. I'm sure she'd say it was the chocolate.

MI MADRE LA Duquesa Viuda estaba obsesionada con una alimentación saludable.

Cuando estábamos creciendo, Dale, The Kid Brother, y yo tomábamos más que seis vitamínas cada mañana. "No necesitas mantequilla!" "No hace falta añadir sal. "Ambas abuelas eran diabéticas, no necesitas azúcar." "El arroz blanco no es saludable." "Ni la harina blanca."

Puedo decirte que no era tan santa como profesaba. Ella vivía para el helado y siempre tenía algunos en el congelador. El yogur helado y la leche helada eran sustitutos inaceptables. Cada vez que llegamos para una visita, ella tenía paquetes de Pepperidge Farm Milano galletas (doble chocolate). "Son para ti", dijo. Yo compartí con ella. Cuando ella estaba en sus 80s, yo diría, "Entonces, si tienes esa papa blanca, ¿sólo vivirás a 103 en lugar de 104?" "¡Muerde su lengua! Si esta es la forma en que mi cuerpo se siente ahora, ¿quién quiere vivir hasta el 104?" "¡Entonces coma la patata!" No me sirvió de nada. Generalmente.

Ella siempre contaría de los peligros de comer malsano. Durante más de treinta años, San Geraldo se llenó obstinadamente una bolsa de pasteles simplemente porque había mirado en una ventana de panadería para escuchar a La Duquesa decir, "No necesitas eso, Jerry".

Tuvo un gran doctor en su último año de vida. Al final de una cita le ofreció un chocolate. Ella tenía diabetes (bajo control con la medicación), presión arterial alta (nunca bajo control), un corazón malo, osteoporosis severa, y una miríada de otras dolencias. Ella le dijo al doctor: "Oh, no puedo tener chocolate."

El doctor sonrió y preguntó: "¿Cuantos años tienes?"

Ella respondió con orgullo, "88".

Él sonrió otra vez y dijo: "Toma un chocolate y toma uno para el viaje a casa".

Murió unos cuatro meses después. Estoy seguro de que ella diría que era ese chocolate.

BROOKLYN, 1955. DESPUÉS DE LAS SEIS VITAMINAS DIARIAS... AL HELADERÍA.
BROOKLYN, 1955. AFTER THE SIX DAILY VITAMINS... TO THE ICE CREAM PARLOR.
FINALMENTE, HELADO DE ALTA CALIDAD. RESTAURANTE PRIMAVERA. VAINILLA Y DULCE DE LECHE. HOY, NECESITO CHOCOLATE.
FINALLY, HIGH-QUALITY ICE CREAM. PRIMAVERA RESTAURANT. VANILLA AND DULCE DE LECHE. TODAY, I NEED CHOCOLATE.

32 comments:

  1. LOL!
    If it made her feel better and get on with her day, then it was good for her. It seemed to work as she had a long life.
    My dad is adamant about not eating chocolate......will have to make sure no one tempts him!!

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    Replies
    1. Jim:
      When Chuck was about 12, my mother told him chocolate was bad for his skin. He's now 57 and still doesn't eat chocolate. WHITE chocolate, yes, because it's white and therefore not chocolate.

      Delete
  2. What a sad ending for the doctor, but the humour is interesting nonetheless. Chocolate is not for everyone it seems. Great post and photos, warm greetings!

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    1. Blogoratti:
      The doctor was a smart (and respectful) man and he clearly knew her heart wouldn't last much longer. She really enjoyed their exchange that day and loved telling the story. (I found a brand new bag of Dove chocolate hearts in a commode drawer in her living room.)

      Delete
  3. Yum! That looks way better. :)

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    1. Snoskred:
      Fresh, creamy, all-natural. SO good.

      Delete
  4. So glad you got your good ice cream!
    I grew up with a Dad that pushed healthy eating. Always a vitamin every morning and cod liver oil all winter. Only "brown" bread and tons of fruit and veggies. But ice cream every Sunday out at the local dairy! Loved that your Mom enjoyed ice cream too.
    Have a good day!
    Robin

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    Replies
    1. Robin:
      Ew, cod liver oil. I am so sorry for you! We just took a multi-vitamin, B Complex, E, C... and I can't believe I can't remember what else now. But we had waffles and ice cream for dinner some nights!

      Delete
  5. Your mother was a real pip!!! I have friends who are healthy eaters, some also vegan and vegetarian. They always seem to have a aliment of some kind. I eat what I want in moderation. Although the doc said one day, Now Mistress, every time you want a libation have an apple instead. I says who wants to eat 15 apples a day?

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    1. mistress maddie:
      15 apples a day would upset your stomach -- way too much fiber and Vitamin C. Doesn't that doctor know anything?!? Gin is great for detox -- juniper berries!

      Delete
  6. You just crack me up! I could visualize all these conversations!

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  7. We ate well in my family when I was growing up - 3 veg, a starch, and meat at every dinner and always dessert. A serving of ice cream was 3 big scoops, anything less was just "a taste" or perhaps a topping on a slice of pie. Glad you got the ice cream you were craving; there is no substitute.

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    1. Wilma:
      We had our own personal ice cream containers in the freezer. My mother didn't share.

      Delete
  8. @maddie - bwhahahaha!

    now THAT looks like fabu ice cream! eat the chocolate & the ice cream, drink the wine, slather on the butter...we all gonna die someday anyway. might as well make the best of it!

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    1. anne marie:
      Yes, maddie bwhahahaha... The ice cream at Primavera is amazing. Unfortunately, they're not an ice cream parlor, so you take what they made that day. But I'm not complaining.

      Delete
  9. Sue the damn Doctor, is what I say.

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  10. Bless her, my Mom was the same, same generation, they probably learned that at mother school. With my Mom it was champagne she died at 85. But we were fed lots of vegetables and fresh fruit. No fast food for us even if all the other kids were eating it. Enjoy the pastries , I know they are good for you.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Laurent:
      Jerry's mother was the same generation and she always had a huge freezer filled with freshly baked "bars," cookies, and ice cream. My mother's father owned a produce store. She grew up snacking on raw vegetables.

      Delete
  11. Ha! That last line really made me chuckle.

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    1. Stephen:
      I made myself chuckle... and, knowing my mother, it's not a lie!

      Delete
  12. Perhaps, but wasn't it worth it?

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    Replies
    1. Spo:
      Really worth it. The doctor made her very happy that day.

      Delete
  13. Reminds me a little of the news story of an old lady outliving the doctors who told her to stop drinking Dr. Pepper or she'd die

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    1. Adam:
      When Jerry's grandfather was 86 and extremely robust, his doctor told him he needed to stop eating bacon and eggs. Jerry's grandfather said, "I'm 86 years old and I've been eating bacon and eggs for breakfast every day of my adult life. I'm sure not about to stop now!" I so admired him.

      Delete
  14. Great advice from her doctor.

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  15. Oh yes have a chocolate at any time ~ live for the moment and then some.

    You Mom is a beauty in that picture ~ her smile radiates and then some!
    Winks
    Ron

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ron:
      My mother was a beauty and never really knew. Sadly, she passed those insecurities onto her kids. She was always stunned when our friends said she looked "like a movie star."

      Delete
  16. Oh, that ice cream looks sooooooo creamy and delicious!

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    Replies
    1. Judy:
      The photo doesn't lie. Isn't it amazing how you can actually SEE how delicious it is?!

      Delete

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