Tuesday, October 11, 2011

El Procesión de San Geraldo

Jerry is a human being filled with inconsistencies.  It is one of the many traits that makes him so especially interesting (i.e., never boring) to me.

He is a perfectionist, precise and careful in all he does.  Except when he's not.

He is masterful with words and language.  Except when he's covering all his ducks or getting all his bases in a row.

And he is extremely outgoing, charming, and social.  Except when he wants to hole up at home for days on end and not have to speak to anyone.

So, given the added challenges he faces currently (and temporarily) with a lack of skills to communicate intelligently in Spanish, it's no surprise that he some days would just prefer to stay home.

AN EXAMPLE
Yesterday, Jerry went to the pharmacy and did well in communicating that he needed to refill some prescriptions.  The pharmacist asked him a question in rapid-fire local dialect.  He thought he understood and, pointing to his head, said he was sorry but he couldn't remember.  "Un momento," he said, as he searched his wallet for the business cards I made up containing all our pertinent information.  He showed the card to the pharmacist and pointed to his phone number. The pharmacist laughed and explained that she had asked for his name (nombre) and not his number (numero).  She also told him that she had been a bit concerned when she thought he didn't remember his name.

So, Jerry has suggested that he might like to become a recluse.  Initially, he said I could "roll him out" once a year just like the locals roll out the statues of Jesus and the multitudes of Virgins.  He suggested that I find at least a dozen very sturdy men to hoist him up, carry him downstairs, and then haul him around town for a couple of hours before hauling him back upstairs.  Of course, he wants to be accompanied by a large band of musicians.  He said I'll just need to go around in advance to put up posters.

When he told Margarita his idea, she thought it was hilarious and suggested the event be called "El Procesión de San Geraldo."  Margarita asked if Jerry had selected a date for his annual procession.  He then decided he did not want to have to be "processed" every single year.  So, he suggested Leap Year.  He thought 29 February would be ideal.  He would then only have to be hauled out and dusted off once every four years.

I just looked it up and Jerry is going to be very disappointed to learn that Leap Year is coming up.  He's going to have to leave the house again in a little over four months.  So, watch for the posters.  The first Quadrennial Procesión de San Geraldo will occur 29 February 2012.

THE FIRST QUADRENNIAL PROCESIÓN DE SAN GERALDO?

26 comments:

  1. I think I may have to travel over for this....so funny :) hahaa

    Jerry is a riot

    hugs Mr.B

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  2. But it may spread to cities all over Spain, this wonderful procession! What will you do then?

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  3. How timely for the quote I copied for my desktop by the film writer Walter Kirn:
    "The brilliant dark governing insight of social media is that most people prefer to socialize alone."

    I mean I exchange ideas with people like you from all over the globe, and never once leave this friggin cornfield in which I sit. We need to be careful of that Howard Hughes phenomenon.

    You R are FUNNY man.....

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  4. I imagine it will be quite the processional!

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  5. David:
    You might want to book your flight and reserve a hotel room now. I'm sure everything will be filled for Semana Geraldo.

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  6. Kristi:
    Not a problem. The cities all have their own virgins and their own saints. They usually don't travel.

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  7. Theaterdog:
    Very timely and you (and Walter Kim) are so right.

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  8. Bob:
    I have got to start planning. San Geraldo doesn't like anything done on a small scale.

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  9. HAHAHA...honestly I can picture the procession now. Thanks for making me laugh this morning.

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  10. Caitlin:
    My pleasure, Caitlin. And I'll pass the thanks on to my muse, San Geraldo!

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  11. Oh this is brilliant. Can I come over and help to pick out the buff young men who will be carrying our revered San Geraldo? Will there be covered ducks in the procession?

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  12. haha! This made me laugh out loud! I love the image of San Geraldo being rolled outside and carried through the streets. And the little moment in the pharmacy when the kind pharmacist was worried about him. It sounds like living with Jerry is never boring.

    I enjoyed the earlier posts you linked to. I used to be a library manager too before I decided I couldn't stand the lifestyle any more and swapped it for life on the farm, and my desk looked a lot like Jerry's.

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  13. Nubian:
    Who said anything about "buff young men"? Jerry was thinking burly would be more in order. And we both love the idea of covering him in ducks!

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  14. Judith:
    Jerry used to fantasize about swapping it all for life on the farm. I don't think I'd last more than a week. But it conjures such wonderful images.

    I'll be sure to share photos on February 29th! Thanks, as always, for your visits and comments.

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  15. i AM SO DIFFERENT TO CHRIS... i DRIVE HIM MA(as a box of frogs!)

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  16. Love the picture. As I grow older, I believe Jerry and I have the same thought process.

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  17. Why doesn't Jerry take a Spanish class?

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  18. You are not telling us that Jerry is a virgin! Or a saint! Are you? ;)

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  19. John:
    Funny, given your "roommates," I would have thought you would drive him mad as a wet hen!

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  20. Travis:
    He does. But Rome wasn't built in a day (and fluency doesn't come in a month).

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  21. Walt the Fourth:
    Well... As far as sainthood, Jerry's sister says that's really MY department.

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  22. Jerry, how do you feel in that state of grace?, I will show mum and dad the next procesión, they will like it and yes, Jerry, you are a special human being and I love you

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  23. Margarita:
    So wonderful to see your comment here! Thanks for helping Jerry develop the plan for his procesión!

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  24. Are you telling me San Geraldo is a Virgin?!

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  25. Peter:
    To avoid confusion (or any possible misrepresentation) perhaps I should stop referencing virgins and just call Jerry a saint.

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