Has Anyone Seen My Talent?

HOW I SAW MYSELF IN '76 AND '93.
(ON TWO BAD DAYS.)

I seem to have misplaced my artistic talent. I'm sure I haven't lost it completely but it seems to be well-hidden. At least my skill when touching a felt-tip pen to a fine piece of sketch paper. Maybe I should try doodling on a napkin instead. I'm serious. Some of my best work used to be doodled on napkins.

Yesterday afternoon, I picked up my high-quality sketch pad (given to me in September along with a bunch of great art supplies by the very artistic — and generous — Dowager Duchess). I thought I'd start simply. I took one of my felt-tip razor point pens and began to sketch from a photograph I had taken last week. I very rarely drew from photos or existing art in the past. (I had a high-school art teacher who insisted it was cheating; I learned later that she was wrong, but never really got over it.) Last week, I saw a woman on the street during one of the processions and snapped her picture. She was interesting. I thought it would make a great drawing (despite what Mrs. Aranow had said). It sucked... or I should say, I sucked. But it's been a long time since I've sat and sketched. I knew I needed to relax and get into it.

So, I sat down on my bed and decided I would do what I used to do to relax — all the way through my school years and university. If I really wanted to sketch just for the sake of sketching, I would sprawl out somewhere (usually in bed) and draw my feet. Or my left hand holding the sketch pad. Or whatever was in view. I was always good at feet and hands. So, I decided to sketch my hand. It sucked.

DOODLED ON AN ETCHING PLATE IN 1973 AND PRINTED ON A PAPER TOWEL.
ALL THAT MATTERED WAS I HAD A GOOD TIME.

In disgust — after my 10 minutes of effort — I put down the pad and pen. I began to tell myself I never had any talent anyway. But I quickly reminded myself I was simply rusty and I was placing way too much importance on picking up that sketchpad. So, next time (today), I'm going to use pencil instead of pen. And I'm only going to doodle (no hands, no feet just whatever is in my head).

It's not a competition. I don't need to get a good grade. I'm not building a portfolio for a job interview. I'm not trying to please a client. No one is going to pay me. And one day soon, I will actually share something new that I enjoyed doing.

A VERY OLD DOODLE (CLICK FOR THE BIG PICTURE).
IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF I STILL GOT HIGH (OOPS! SORRY, MOM!)

Meanwhile, I'm not feeling completely inept. Another unusual gift Chocolate-Bearing-Peter brought from Amsterdam was a do-it-yourself "Foldable Delft Blue Vase Flower Brick" (better known as Vouwbare Delftsblauwe Vaas Bloemenblok). It's a modern version (in polypropylene) of a 17th-century Delftware flower container. The inner lining is watertight, so you can even fill it with fresh flowers. I handily managed to do that myself. It's a start.

HANDMADE (WELL, HAND-FOLDED) GENUINE POLYPROPYLENE DELFTWARE.