Saturday, August 6, 2016

Saying Good-Bye To The Dowager Duchess

FROM OUR VISIT IN APRIL.
After a long, active life filled with many hardships and many blessings, my mother passed away Friday at the age of 89.

She had been telling me a lot lately, "I'm just not myself anymore." She managed to get out once a week with a small group of wonderful friends for a painting class and dinner; it was the highlight of her week. But she found it very exhausting and usually spent the entire next day recovering.

Another day each week, she hosted a Mah Jongg game at home with other friends. She also loved that but, again, found it very exhausting.

Other than that, her life had become limited to walks down to the local market or some nearby shops, usually in the company of an aide. It was a better life than many experience, but it wasn't the life she wanted, and we worried she would soon have to give up more of her independence and mobility.

Her very kind next-door neighbor checked on her Friday night when he got home from work after he saw her NY Times still outside her door. My thanks — and my heart — go out to him.

Jerry and I are getting ready to head to New York. I expect that the funeral will be held Tuesday, but that remains to be arranged.

I haven't yet spoken with the Kid Brother, but I will. And he will be fine, especially because we three will be fine together.

I plan to continue to tell stories (many embarrassing) about the Dowager Duchess. She loved the attention. On her behalf, I thank you all for that.

38 comments:

  1. I'm so sad at the news, Mitchell. I wish you well as you and Jerry make your sad journey. Take care.

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  2. Oh, Mitchell. This brought tears to my eyes, and I sit here shaking my head in sadness for you and Jerry and the Kid Brother. I'm so glad that you had a long visit with her this year. My heart is with you.
    Judy

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  3. My sincere condolences. I read but don't comment however I loved the stories of your spirited mother. No matter how long or how well they live there is nothing quite as hard as losing your mom.
    Wishing you and your family peace
    Donna

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  4. Mitchell she was an amazing woman. I remember her red nails - great woman. RIP. Take care

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  5. My love to you all. You're right, you'll all be okay together.

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  6. Oh Mitchell, I'm so, so sorry to hear this. Your Mom was a remarkable woman. Please let me know the arrangements.

    Love, Carole

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  7. Losing our mothers is difficult. Yours, Mitchell, lived a good life as you said the way she wished.
    I agree that she will continue to enjoy all the attention you have given her and will continue to do so through your blog.
    Take care my friend.

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  8. Your mother was a beautiful woman who loved her family and was loved. My sincere condolences and much love, Elaine.

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  9. Sorry Mitchell. Duchess tales have amused us for a long time.

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  10. I am so sorry my friend, your Mother sounds like a fabulous lady and lived a lively and colorful life. Hugs.

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  11. I feel as though I've gotten to know the DD so well through the many stories you've shared, and my heart breaks for your loss.
    But the memories, ah, the memories; those will make you smile for years to come.
    Safe travels back to New York.

    Our hearts are with you and San Geraldo, and Kid Brother.

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  12. I am very close to my mother too, so I can't imagine what your going through. I can only offer you my peaceful vibes and wishes will comfort you during this time, and that you'll never be without her. You will always have your memories to wrap you in of her. Looking to the posts...as she is too no doubt. Safe travels too!

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  13. I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

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  14. my condolences on your loss; your mother seemed to be a most independent woman.

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  15. I was so sad to see the news. My condolences to you and your brother and all who knew, loved and admired her. I have enjoyed getting to know (about) her from your posts.

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  16. Oh Mitchell, I'm so sorry to hear this terrible news. I feel like, in a small way, I new the Dowager Duchess. There were so many things about her to admire. I could tell from your posts how close you were to her and I can only imagine the huge hole she'll leave in your life. Fortunately, you have a soulmate to lean on and I just know he'll be there for you. Take care, and again my condolences.

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  17. Oh, Mitch. Like so many others have said, I have tears as I type this, and I feel like I knew your mother. Your stories about her and extended family have given me so many smiles and laughs over the years. I'm thinking of you, Jerry and the Kid Brother. My heart is with you, and hugs to you over the miles. Safe travels. And farewell, sweet Dowager Duchess. I want to embrace life in the great way that she did.

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  18. Sincere condolences to you and your entire family on the loss of your mother.

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  19. Sincere condolences to you and all your family

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  20. Deepest sympathy to you and your family. I look forward to your return and more stories about your wonderful mom.

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  21. Desperately sad news, Mitch. Deep sympathy to you and yours at this uniquely sorrowful time. Sincerely hoping that you can get through the emotional upheaval of the next few days as smoothly as you - and D.D. herself - would wish. My thoughts of comfort and condolences are with you.

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  22. I'm so sorry to hear this news.

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  23. Dear Mitch, I am so sorry to hear that wonderful Mim has passed away! My heart and thoughts are filled with lovely memories from the days we had together in Las Vegas:-) She certainly was a remarkable, vivid and stylish woman! Please give my love to Jerry! Take care❤️ Mim; RIP

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  24. Deepest sympathy & hugs to you & your family. May your many memories bring you peace.

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  25. Oh my, so sorry, so sad. Please take time and take care of yourself.

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  26. My heart goes out to you, Mitchell, and to all the family and friends who will miss the Dowager Duchess. You and SG were wonderful sons to her. I believe that the readers of your blog, who have come to know through your writing what a lovely person she was, are grieving with you. Take care. Much love, Wilma

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  27. Very sorry for your loss.

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  28. So very sorry to hear the sad news - condolences to you all. We hope that the many happy memories will comfort you through the sad times ahead. What a beautiful photo.

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  29. Am very sorry to read of your loss Mitch, your Mum looked like she was a delightful lady.

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  30. Sincere condolences on your loss.

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  31. Mitch I am so sorry too for your loss and wish you safe travel to be with your family.
    Take care.
    Tim

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  32. I have always been so moved by the affactionate and respectful way you have always written about her.....some gentle joshing but always with love...... Sending you my and the Prof's best wishes......
    I hope everything goes as well as it can do...
    Sooo sorry

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  33. My condolences - my heart and thoughts are with you :(

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  34. MItchell, I am so sorry for your loss! I hope your mom rests in the sweetest peace there is! Thinking about you and your entire family.

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  35. You have always let your readers know how very very special and loved your mother was. I am so sorry to learn about her loss. My most sincere sympathy.

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  36. Hola Mitchell,
    Cuando me enteré del fallecimiento de tu madre te escribí un whatsapp pero veo que no has abierto el móvil español.
    Lo siento, porque sé lo importante que ella era para ti y la fuerza y personalidad que debía tener. Pero ha tenido una vida muy larga y buena o sea que, aunque lógicamente tengas la pena de perderla, tienes que estar contento por ello. Veo que tu familia y tus amigos te acompañan y así todo es mas fácil.
    Un fuerte abrazo. Mitchell. Tambien para tu hermano y Jerry

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  37. Mitchell - I'm sorry I'm late with this as I hadn't been catching up on my blog reading. I'm sorry for your loss. Your stories reveal a life lived to the fullest, filled with the joys and sorrows of a wonderful lady. She was loved and she loved - and that is the greatest tribute that can be paid to anyone. Lux aeterna.

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