Uncut And Stuffed

Thursday night at dinner, our waiter very kindly brought us a complementary appetizer. A small plate containing what looked like an uncircumcised penis, hollowed out, stuffed with something, and lying atop a bed of seasoned rice.

The rice looked good.

On closer inspection, I saw that the dead penis was filled with bits of tiny squid and ground pork. I guessed, correctly, that the thick skin had been part of a much larger squid. We learned once we moved to Spain that squid, like penises, come in all sizes.

San Geraldo said, "What smells?"

I touched the penis with my fork and exposed ground meat and little squid legs.

San Geraldo — who will usually try anything unless it contains walnuts, coconut, or olives — refused to take a taste.

I — who will usually hesitate to try anything that doesn't contain recognizable elements, like walnuts, coconut, or olives — took a teeny taste.

That teeny taste was immediately followed by a slug of Málaga wine, which was followed by a thick slice of bread.

San Geraldo began to cut into the penis for a closer look.

Still chewing bread and unable to bare ... bear a closer look, I pushed his hand away, and covered the plate with a cocktail napkin.

CHIPIRONES, CALAMARE RELLONOS, POTAS Y CALAMARES.
(SQUID, STUFFED, SQUID, BIG SQUID AND LITTLE SQUID.... AND VERY GOOD RICE.)

We apologized to the waiter for being so ungracious and so lacking in taste.

A moment later, a very elegant couple at a nearby table had an entire huge plate of dead, uncircumcised, stuffed penis and consumed it greedily. Shows how much WE know!

FROM THE WEB: KIND OF WHAT OURS LOOKED LIKE.