Saturday, May 31, 2014

What's The Matter With Kids Today?

We are extremely gentle and loving with our kids cats. We have never hit them and, although we may have called out a firm "No!" once or twice when they've been caught clawing the furniture or balancing on the terrace wall, we have never raised our voices to them. After months of patient work with Dudo, he is now a sweet and loving lap-cat. I can hug him and squeeze him, give him kisses on top of his head, clean his face, and still he snuggles. Moose is a harder case when it comes to lap-sitting. But, other than that, they feel safe and secure with us and trust us with all their hearts.

Except if we [try to] pick them up.

MOOSE (LEFT) AND DUDO:  SAFE AND SECURE.

Dudo will spend an hour or more asleep in San Geraldo's lap while we watch TV. Usually, when our show ends, Dudo will grudgingly allow himself to be lifted off San Geraldo's lap and placed back down on the chair. But not yesterday. San Geraldo picked him up. Slowly, quietly, and gently. Dudo panicked. He flew out of San Geraldo's arms and slid across the coffee table — claws bared — removing a substantial amount of wood surface as he went.

WE'VE WANTED A NEW COFFEE TABLE ANYWAY.  GLASS.

After over-shooting the coffee table, Dudo (claws still bared) slid across my upper legs — removing a substantial amount of skin as he went. A minute later — as I bled out — Dudo was back in the living room as if nothing had happened. San Geraldo got ointment and bandages for my legs, which Dudo found fascinating.

BANDAGES REMOVED TODAY:  LEFT LEG...
...AND RIGHT.  ALREADY HUGELY IMPROVED.
"I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME."

This morning, San Geraldo told me he found a fork on the living room rug. He said it must have been sent flying during "the incident."

SAN GERALDO FOUND A FORK ON THE LIVING ROOM RUG.

This afternoon, I walked into the living room and there lay the fork, still on the rug. I checked in with San Geraldo and said, "When you told me this morning that you found a fork on the living room rug, I assumed you picked it up."

He responded, "Oh, no. I only said I found it. I never said I picked it up."

I obviously was not lying Tuesday when I said San Geraldo was my child (click here if you missed it). I have three.

If you want to get right to the song, slide the bar to 1:17. And don't miss the apropos moment at 3:00.

33 comments:

  1. Holy cow, those scratches are something! (both places!) Too bad there's no ointment for the coffee table.
    My cat was the same way about being picked up!

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    Replies
    1. Judy:
      Thank god for medicated ointment and big bandages.My repair of the coffee table will take brown and black "Sharpies" and a little polish. The wood will look "distressed." And it simply encourages us to buy a new, good, glass coffee table.

      Delete
  2. Perhaps he was waiting for Dudo to pick it up? I had a cat that hated to be picked up but would sit in my lap. Might be an idea to just push him off next time lest there be even more serious injuries. Maybe he was having a Ninja dream when woken.

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    1. Cheapchick:
      San Geraldo will definitely be just "pushing" in future. And, yes, I think he was hoping Dudo would pick it up.

      Delete
  3. First off, I, too, have some cat claw scars on legs and belly where the cats have been startled and scratched their way off of me.

    But all that pales in comparison to this:

    "Oh, no. I only said I found it. I never said I picked it up."

    I did a spit-take, and then realized that, while I'd never heard such a thing escape Carlos' lips, it wouldn't surprise me if I had.

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    Replies
    1. Bob:
      San Geraldo still doesn't understand my confusion. (I wonder what it would be like if we made the two of them live together for a while.)

      Delete
  4. Ouch! Those scratches (both kinds) look painful. As for the fork, if that were Bill he'd have thought I put it there for a reason and would also have left it lay.

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    1. Sharon:
      Sometimes I leave San Geraldo's messes just on principle. But, I cave after a couple of days.

      Delete
  5. You really got mauled. Looks painful.

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    1. Stephen:
      It only hurt the first night. Now it just ruins the aesthetics of my beautiful legs.

      Delete
  6. OUCH! Nothing worse than cat scratches!! Cats can do that so spontaneously at times with no warning.
    I wonder how long that fork would have stayed on the floor if you had left it there?

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    1. Jim:
      That fork would have stayed there for as long as it took ME to pick it up.

      Delete
  7. Sundance once tangled her tail in some flypaper (don't ask) and tore around the house with claws extended, doing quite a number on my right foot when she dug into it trying to get past me. Cassidy, several times a day, comes over to the couch, puts out a claw and gently tugs on the wood frame. No serious scratches to the wood, but no response to firm "No!"s either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michael:
      Fortunately, Dudo doesn't claw at the wood furniture (except this time, which was an accient). He only claws fabric. We say, "No!" He stops, looks at us, and walks away. 15 minutes later, he's back at it (when we're not in the room). (I love your cats' names.)

      Delete
  8. My last cat was a real snugglepuss, the most affectionate cat I've ever known, he never saw a lap he didn't jump onto. But he too hated being picked up and resisted strongly and wriggled and struggled and clawed himself free. A lot of cats are like this, I think it's the feeling of not being in control of their body that they hate and they panic. Dogs on the other hand don't seem to mind it at all.

    San Geraldo's comment made me laugh out loud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Judith:
      Come to think of it, even our other two affectionate, lap-loving cats hated to be held. However, they didn't go into immediate fits.

      Delete
  9. Your cats are fantastic creatures. I love them. I would like to have them. They are young so the love playing you should play with them it would be great for them

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    Replies
    1. Gosia:
      They get played with a lot. It's all about them.

      Delete
  10. Domestic bliss is not pretty! LOL!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. You've put me in a bit of a quandary here Mitchell, caught between feeling extremely sympathetic about your war wounds and, well, my distinctly sophomoric sense of humour. Continue healing quickly!
    I'm rather proud the sympathy won.
    San Geraldo's response nearly killed me; he HAS to be related to the kidling who once told me (in the middle of winter) that the front door was standing open, and when I walked into the room it was still standing open whilst she watched a movie with blankets piled over her. When I asked her why she hadn't closed the door she replied "Well I told you about it didn't I!" KIDS.
    Re: Vitamin D, just so you know, the Great Scot has put on 4 lbs. this week...considering that my darlin' is almost 6 ft. and was stuck at 126 lbs., it seems almost miraculous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jacqueline:
      But I wonder how old the Kidling was when SHE behaved that way. I'm assuming she's outgrown it by now (although San Geraldo obviously never has).

      Wow, the Great Scot is much leaner than I am. I was taller than that (6'2") and that same weight when I was 17. Buying jeans was a nightmare (28-inch waist, 36-inch inseam... because those bell-bottoms had to drag on the ground). I won't complain anymore; I range between 170 and 180 now (but still see myself as one "long noodle," as my mother used to say).

      Delete
  12. In the words of Paul Provenza, "Why, these kids today, with their hair and their clothes..."

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    1. Walt the Fourth:
      So deep and so true...

      Delete
  13. Ouch! For the table and for you. Would it help if you begin to talk to the cats (or only Dudo?) for a while before picking them up? They are very cute, but it shouldn't be in such a lethal way!

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    Replies
    1. Kristi:
      San Geraldo was talking very sweetly and gently to Dudo... before and during. And he always gently lifts him from his lap when he gets up and places him back on the chair alone. Kids!

      Delete
  14. Yes, those scars can be nasty but they do go with the 'territory'.
    I'm particularly wary when picking up my Blackso to carry him in from outside, for instance, as his forelegs tend to fly around before he settles sitting on my arm, holding a leg on each of my shoulders, while usually rubbing my beard or my nose and purring loudly. An ill-placed deep scratch on my jugular could have the potential bring the curtains down on my life.
    But leg scratches are no fun at all either. I know from experience just how they can burn and sting - and all while the culprit himself is totally oblivious to the inconvenience caused.

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    1. Raybeard:
      Fortunately, the scratches only occur by accident. We've never had a nasty cat. And, yes, oh that sting. The worst of the scratches looks kind of ugly right now, but it's healing well and doesn't hurt at all. Dudo is clueless.

      Delete
  15. When we had a couple of cats, i would tell them they would make fine eating if they did not knock it off. As they are oringally from outer space, they merely laughed at me.

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    1. Spo:
      Well Dudo and Moose are native to these parts. WE'RE the aliens. Whenever I get out of line, Dudo just stares at me and licks his chops.

      Delete
  16. I still have scars on my upper chest from my cat who has now been gone for seven years! She got a little excited one day when I was holding her. I should have just let go... Anyway, I feel your pain. Ouch!!

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    Replies
    1. Knatolee:
      Oh, I don't think my wounds could ever compare with yours. It's dangerous living on Animal Farm!

      Delete

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