Except if we [try to] pick them up.
|MOOSE (LEFT) AND DUDO: SAFE AND SECURE.|
Dudo will spend an hour or more asleep in San Geraldo's lap while we watch TV. Usually, when our show ends, Dudo will grudgingly allow himself to be lifted off San Geraldo's lap and placed back down on the chair. But not yesterday. San Geraldo picked him up. Slowly, quietly, and gently. Dudo panicked. He flew out of San Geraldo's arms and slid across the coffee table — claws bared — removing a substantial amount of wood surface as he went.
|WE'VE WANTED A NEW COFFEE TABLE ANYWAY. GLASS.|
After over-shooting the coffee table, Dudo (claws still bared) slid across my upper legs — removing a substantial amount of skin as he went. A minute later — as I bled out — Dudo was back in the living room as if nothing had happened. San Geraldo got ointment and bandages for my legs, which Dudo found fascinating.
|BANDAGES REMOVED TODAY: LEFT LEG...|
|...AND RIGHT. ALREADY HUGELY IMPROVED.|
|"I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME."|
This morning, San Geraldo told me he found a fork on the living room rug. He said it must have been sent flying during "the incident."
|SAN GERALDO FOUND A FORK ON THE LIVING ROOM RUG.|
This afternoon, I walked into the living room and there lay the fork, still on the rug. I checked in with San Geraldo and said, "When you told me this morning that you found a fork on the living room rug, I assumed you picked it up."
He responded, "Oh, no. I only said I found it. I never said I picked it up."
I obviously was not lying Tuesday when I said San Geraldo was my child (click here if you missed it). I have three.
If you want to get right to the song, slide the bar to 1:17. And don't miss the apropos moment at 3:00.