Monday, April 2, 2018

The Law of Gravity / La Ley De La Gravedad

La versión español está después de la versión inglés.

WHILE ENJOYING AN evening out with our friends Tynan and Elena, we somehow got on the subject of gravity, age, and women's breasts. San Geraldo told the story of how when he was 15 and traveling from South Dakota to California with his family, his grandmother, a generously proportioned woman, was in her motel room in her nightgown and when she sat, he was mortified to see the tip of her breast peeking out from beneath her nightgown.

I had heard this story before and never thought much of it until Tynan blurted, "Beneath her nightgown"? How big were they?!?"

San Geraldo explained, "Well the nightgown reached to well below her knees."

'What?!?' I thought. "What?!?" Elena howled. That's not possible!"

We finally determined — after all these years — that what San Geraldo saw was not a nipple at all but likely the knot of his grandmother's rolled down nylon stockings.

But wait! There's more!

While still on the subject of sagging breasts, San Geraldo asked, "Can they really sag down to your waist?" Elena said, "Well, if they're big enough and heavy enough, of course."

"But, what do you do with them? Do you roll them up?" San Geraldo asked. And then still unfortunately thinking aloud, "Well, I suppose they could pleat them so the nipple stays on the outside."

I'm pretty sure he was kidding about the pleats.

MIENTRAS DISFRUTAMOS DE una velada con nuestros amigos Tynan y Elena, de alguna manera abordamos el tema de la gravedad, la edad, y los pechos de las mujeres. San Geraldo contó la historia de cómo cuando tenía 15 años y viajaba de Dakota del Sur a California con su familia, su abuela, una mujer generosamente proporcionada, estaba en el cuarto de su motel con su camisón y cuando ella se sentó, él se sintió mortificado al ver la propina de su pecho asomando por debajo de su camisón.

Había escuchado esta historia antes y nunca pensé mucho en ella hasta que Tynan dijo: "Debajo de su camisón". ¿Qué tan grandes eran?!? "

San Geraldo explicó: "El camisón llegó muy abajo de sus rodillas".

'¿¡¿Qué?!?' yo pensé. "¿¡¿Qué?!?" Elena aulló. ¡Eso no es posible!"

Finalmente, después de todos estos años, determinamos que lo que San Geraldo vio no era un pezón sino el nudo de las medias de nailon enrolladas de su abuela.

¡Pero espera! ¡Hay más!

Mientras seguía con el tema de los senos caídos, San Geraldo preguntó: "¿Realmente pueden caérsele hasta la cintura?" Elena dijo: "Bueno, si son lo suficientemente grandes y pesados, por supuesto".

"Pero, ¿qué haces con ellos? ¿Los enrollas?" San Geraldo preguntó. Y aún así desafortunadamente pensando en voz alta: "Supongo que podrían plegarlos para que el pezón se quede afuera".

Estoy bastante seguro de que él estaba bromeando sobre los pliegues.


AT 15 (AND STILL TODAY), SO MUCH TO LEARN.
A 15 AÑOS (Y TODAVÍA HOY), TANTO PARA APRENDER.

23 comments:

  1. There are some mysteries in life, that we should let remain mysteries.

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  2. poor SG...no experience with women...lucky SG!

    elena is correct, of course (says the woman with large tits [me]). and no, I am NOT rolling them up OR pleating them! they are what they are! ;-b

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    Replies
    1. anne marie,
      Poor SG. He never stops surprising me.

      Delete
  3. We need the unsolved mysteries guy on this one

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    Replies
    1. Adam,
      Ca n you imagine that!? What mystery?

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  4. Breasts are certainly fascinating.....I grew up watching my mother breast-feed my siblings. She did not mind 'an audience' of her children. The expressions on both their faces (baby and mother) were spell-binding.
    My grandmother's breasts (she'd kill me) where huge......and I would agree with SG that they can, and did, hang down well below her waist.

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    Replies
    1. Jim,
      But not below her knees! And Jerry corrected me. His grandmoyher was standing at the time!

      Delete
  5. Wish I hadn't read this. Won't get to sleep tonight! :-)

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  6. My grandmother was well endowed. We joke about the possibility of roll, lick, and stick!

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  7. Mitchell, honey, would it kill you to give a snort alert? My 7:00 a.m. coffee just missed my keyboard! I've been more obnoxious than usual, so I wasn't going to comment anywhere this week, but this has inspired me, not to mention cheering me up. Thanks! Now, without further ado, this is what you have inspired.

    With all due respect and apologies to Salt-n-Pepa, Let's Talk About Boobs.

    Let's talk about boobs, baybee.
    Ginormous jahoobies.
    How when they're large,
    They fall to evil gravity.
    They sag to your knees.

    I shall be forever grateful for my front butt/boob shelf!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deedles,
      I completely forgot the Salt n Peppa song. Will have to share it with Jerry!

      Delete
  8. That's like something out of Don Martin, assuming Mad magazine put out an adult book store version.

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    Replies
    1. Kirk,
      I have a greeting card that I was going share but decided to keep this tasteful!

      Delete
  9. As usual, another chuckle-out-loud post.

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    Replies
    1. Judy,
      Ah, Jerry... my muse... my punchline... the butt of my jokes.

      Delete
  10. I once took a friend, who had never seen a naked woman to the Casino de Paris show with it's topless showgirls. Bob's only comment was: It's like they have an extra pair of eyes following you!

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    Replies
    1. Willym,
      Such a strange reaction. We AlL have those.

      Delete
    2. Perhaps it was the movement as they danced??????

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  11. :) ... got here via Debra Who Seeks ... awesome blog you got here ... smiles ... anyway ... Love, cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cat,
      Thanks so much for visiting and for saying hi!

      Delete

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