PollO Or A?

I want to build my own holiday village — of sorts. Nothing holy and totally irreverent.

Judy bought some figures for Tynan and Elena's "Belen." A few ducks to join Elena's farm animals and a dead chicken for Tynan. Just because.

Their friend Jim has two Christmas villages at his house. A bit religious and a bit festive. There's even a man with his bits out peeing wherever he happens to be standing (he gets moved all over town). Although the caganer (click here) is a Christmas tradition, Peeing Man appears to be on his own.

Remember, "pollo" is chicken in Spanish and "polla" is cock. Consider this blog post your Spanish lesson for the day. You're welcome.

TYNAN'S DEAD CHICKEN INAPPROPRIATELY, BUT WELL-, HUNG.

AT LEAST I THINK HE'S PEEING.
HE'S AWFULLY CLOSE TO THAT SHEEP!

SUNDAY FACETIME WITH THE KID BROTHER.
HE WOULD TELL ME THE ABOVE IMAGES "ARE NOT NICE!"

AND, after a brief listen to this video, the Kid Brother would say,
"What are you nuts?!? Turn that junk off! Sheesh!"

Costa Winter Fashion

Rational people are bundled up here on the Costa del Sol. It's winter, you know. Today didn't get above 15C (61F) with a low of 13C (55F) and that doesn't account for the combination of high humidity and wind chill. San Geraldo's cyclonic winds were out in force. It's expected to go as low as 10C (50F) tonight. Fortunately, the wind has died down. So the real feel shouldn't dip much lower than about 8C (46F).

You can always tell the tourists from the locals around here. I was kept just barely warm in my fleece-lined, hooded sweatshirt (and my scarf), while others walked by the cafe this morning in shorts and T-shirts.

Today's fashionable photos were collected throughout November and December. The only one taken in today's chill was the one at upper right. You'll notice the guy had his hands in his pockets to keep warm, and the woman with him had goose bumps (well, she must have). (And that's a walking stick reaching to the ground from the left leg of his shorts... or at least I think it is.)

We're heading out for dinner shortly. Excuse me while I unpack my long underwear and down-filled parka.

GO AHEAD, CLICK THE PIC.

In case my recent choices of music haven't clued you in, this has been a season of melancholy and too much self-reflection at our house.

"Time, time, time, see what's become of me."

Proud Parents

Our exceptional friends Tynan and Elena have two exceptional children, Alexander and Paula. They love them both unconditionally and are justifiably proud of the fine individuals they are growing up to be. They are kind, loving, clever, quick-witted (sometimes a bit too quick), and extremely bright. San Geraldo and I adore them.

A few days ago, the proud parents were informed that 14-year-old Paula had received a medal of excellence in academic achievement from her high school.

While Tynan and Elena basked in the glow of their daughter's brilliance, Elena's mobile phone rang.

"Mom," 16-year-old Alexander wailed. "My fingers are stuck together with Super Glue. I can't get them apart!!! What do I do?!?"

Elena passed the phone to Tynan.

I'm sure a lot of parents can relate.

Real Good Salad

San Geraldo has been doing his seasonal baking. While waiting for his lemon bars to come out of the oven the other day, he perused his mother's box of recipes once again. That can be quite entertaining. One recipe, called "Real Good Salad," has ingredients that make it the perfect side salad for a Sunday roast (or maybe not). You can decide.

Since San Geraldo decided against making "Real Good Salad," here are two of the real good things he did make.

RASPBERRY-LEMON BARS.
(CLICK HERE FOR THE RECIPE POSTED IN 2011.)

BEACON HILL BROWNIES.
(THEY LOOK SCORCHED, BUT THEY'RE NOT.)

Angels, Heirlooms, And Pantaloons

Taking a break from admiring my mother's artwork and getting our house organized and arranged, I went with Judy for my second visit to the Municipal Belen (click here for last time) and came across some additional interesting items.

Our friend Pedro had mentioned to me that there was an angel visiting a man in bed (innuendo included). I missed that the first time around, so I searched until I found them. What bible story is that?

(Click the images for a closer look at the art and the angel... and the underwear.)

WHOEVER THAT IS IN BED SURE LOOKS SEDUCTIVE.

IS THEIR ROOM OVER A GAY BAR?!?

ONE OF SEVERAL SETS OF UNDERGARMENTS BLOWING
IN THE BREEZE ON THE ROOFTOPS OF BETHLEHEM.

DUDO ADMIRING MY MOTHER'S COCKTAIL TABLE AND CARPET.
(THE DUCHESS WOULD NOT BE PLEASED TO SEE HIM ON THE TABLE!)

OIL ON CANVAS BY THE DOWAGER DUCHESS.
27 X 21 INCHES (69 X 53 CM)

OIL ON WOOD BY THE DOWAGER DUCHESS.
4-1/2 X 5-1/2 INCHES (11.5 X 14 CM)

"I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me..."

Extreme Make-Overs And The Kid Brother

Today's lunch out was good, but our identical glamorous makeovers were even better. It was simply one of those setups where you shove your head through a hole and look like whatever is on the other side. Our heads wouldn't quite fit, but we managed (and Photoshop helped smooth out the edges).

(If you think you can handle our glorious magnificence, click the images.)

A few hours later, my day continued to improve when The Kid Brother surprised me with a FaceTime call. He's finally got it back up and running. So, instead of a weekly phone call, we'll be able to see each other. Neither one of us could stop smiling.

I can be the one you call...

Art, Art I Want You

We shipped a few pieces of furniture, some artwork, and two boxes of miscellaneous goods from my mother's (The Dowager Duchess) New York apartment in late August. It went from there to Amsterdam to Madrid and finally arrived here in Fuengirola today.

New York and Madrid were great — well, except for the guy who incompetently packed the two boxes of miscellaneous goods. So, OK, Madrid was great.

The representative in Amsterdam sat on the shipment for nearly three months. As he explained to San Geraldo, when he finally responded, "It's a long way from Amsterdam to Spain."

But, it's here. And it's a joy to see my mother's things in our house — especially my mother's paintings, sculptures, and needlework.

Today's photo is an embroidery The Dowager Duchess did more than 25 years ago. It's 18 x 22 inches (46 x 56cm) and the work is so expert that, at first glance (and sometimes even after careful study), most people think it's an oil painting.

As we unpack and start to get organized, we're reminded of — and in awe of — my mother's exceptional talent. (Click the image to be wowed.)

"So I pondered the point of art in this life..."

Geraldo Picasso Blowing In The Wind

The sky was a brilliant blue and the sun was shining this morning. So San Geraldo suggested we drive the 15 minutes up the hill to Mijas Pueblo. Then we headed out for coffee and we were reminded how much our recently glass-curtained terrace protects us from.

The wind was gusting and we were nearly blown off our feet. Still, what's a little breeze when you've  got the Mediterranean sun?

So, San Geraldo and Judy did crossword puzzles, we had coffee, and we were off to Mijas Pueblo. (Click for bigger pics.)

SAN GERALDO'S PUZZLE LOOKS LIKE
OUR KITCHEN AFTER HE COOKS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY. A REPLICA OF BIG BEN IN MIJAS PUEBLO.
NOTICE THE VIVID BLUE SKY — AND THE BLOWING PALMS.

AFTER AN INDOOR LUNCH AT BAR MARTINA,
STILL BLOWING AND THE SKIES ARE NO LONGER BLUE.

PABLO PICASSO ON A CHAIR NEAR THE RESTAURANT BEFORE LUNCH.

SAN GERALDO ON A BENCH NEAR A SHOP AFTER LUNCH.

MUCH COLDER AND THE SKY THREATENS. TIME TO HEAD HOME.

BACK ON OUR TERRACE
HAPPY AMARYLLIS UNAWARE OF THE WIND.

The answer, my friend, is still blowing in the wind...

S&M Santa, Baby

Less then 8 months before I met San Geraldo, he and his roommate hosted a tree-trimming party. All guests were required to bring a Christmas ornament. When San Geraldo and his roommate went their separate ways, they split up the ornaments.

There was one I wished San Geraldo had left behind. The ornament was known as S&M Santa. I made a point of hiding him on the tree every year. (If our tree had had a dungeon, that's where he would have been.)

Recently, I was reminded of S&M Santa when reading a blogpost by Cheapchick. She had, I thought, the same Santa (click here), without the addition of steel and leather. Cheapchick referred to hers as Ugly Santa.

I recollected that we had finally gotten rid of S&M Santa when we downsized six years ago before our move to Spain. But, yesterday, when I unpacked the rest of our Christmas ornaments, I found him at the bottom of the box. Then I remembered telling San Geraldo, "Well, he's survived 29 years. No reason to get rid of him now."

It turns out Cheapchick's Ugly Santa was a beauty queen compared to ours. So, here he is, even less attractive than I remembered him (but a lot tamer).

(Click the images; unfortunately, he'll get bigger.)

Think of all the fun I've missed...

Cross Words

San Geraldo printed out two copies of today's New York Times crossword puzzle, one for himself and one for Judyshannonstreetwhat. They worked on them simultaneously over morning coffee.

He and Judy are similar in their approach to crossword-puzzle solving. If it's the correct number of letters, fill it in. If a DOWN word doesn't work with an already filled in ACROSS WORD, simply scribble out that first word and write another with the same number of letters.

One of today's clues was "Los Caprichos artist." That's the title of a set of works of art by Goya. Judy announced, "GENE!"

San Geraldo asked, "Why GENE?"

Judy said, "Because we already have the G. And it fits!" They both filled it in.

"What about the clue 'I'm stumped. What do we do?' " she asks.

"It could be 'ANY IDEAS?' " San Geraldo responds.

As they both begin to fill that one in, Judy moans, "Well, there goes 'SNIT'!!!" And they both start scratching out a bunch of letters.

"What do you have for 'One who's extremely green'?" she asks.

"ELPHABAN," says Jerry.

"What's that???" asks Judy.

"Elphaba is the green witch from the Broadway show "Wicked," explains Jerry.

"I've never seen it," she says.

"It's a good show," I offer, "But, that doesn't make any sense."

"But, it fits!!!" They're both ecstatic.

Their sloppy puzzles made me a little nuts and I finally had to look away.

Some of today's more peculiar solutions. From Wrong to Right:
ELPHABAN became ECOFREAK
SNIT became SPAT
IBEAM became PLEAT
LEADS became LENDS
SHABALA became SHALALA
TRENTON became TEANECK
Oh, and of course, I made them change GENE to GOYA.

You'd Better Never Bother With Me Ol' Bamboo

That "bamboo" that has been washing up on our beaches with every recent rainstorm is not bamboo after all (click here). San Geraldo was right to question "where all that bamboo is coming from." He finally suggested it was "fake Pampas Grass." I got what he meant: Something that looks so much like Pampas Grass that it is often mistaken for it.

So I Googled: "What looks like pampas grass and bamboo, but is not." Well, San Geraldo was right (imagine that).

NOT BAMBOO, NOR PAMPAS GRASS.

The scientific name is Arundo donax (click here if you'd like to learn about it — for next week's exam), but a couple of its common names are Giant Cane or Spanish Cane. It's native to the Mediterranean. Until yesterday evening we had a 'Giant Giant Cane' mountain across the street. Crews worked for more than 12 hours to pile it all up and then load and haul away several truckloads. There were mounds of the cane all along the beaches of Fuengirola. A huge job.

BLUE SKIES AND SUNSHINE BEFORE THE CLOUDS RETURNED.

SNOW AND CLOUDS ON THE MOUNTAINS BEYOND.

A SMALLER LOAD NOT FAR FROM THE PORT.

Thanks to a recent comment by Walt (click here for his blog called "wcs"),
I felt inspired to include this video.
(In other words, blame Walt.)

A Very Yerry Christmas

San Geraldo's maternal grandparents were both Norwegian, his grandmother from Bergen in the south and his grandfather from way above the Arctic Circle. His grandmother, Gudrun, focused on becoming "American" and couldn't understand why her grandson, who to this day refers to her as "Gramma" Nelson, was so interested in her past in Norway.

WITH "GRAMMA" NELSON, 1949.

I never met Gramma Nelson. She died just before I met her grandson, around the same time my sister, Dale, died. But over the years I've heard many loving and funny stories about her.

No matter how hard she tried to become solidly American, Gramma Nelson never lost her Norwegian accent. Of especial difficulty for her was the "J" sound. Her grandson Jerry was always called "Yerry."

ANOTHER OF OUR CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS,
YERRY'S BABY RATTLE.

Wednesday afternoon, while we waited for Judyshannonstreetwhat (click here if you haven't met her) to arrive at Málaga Airport, we had overpriced Starbuck's cafe mochas and overpriced stale Starbuck's pastries. At least the staff was nice. When he ordered our drinks, San Geraldo gave the name "Jerry." When we received our drinks, we knew Gramma Nelson was right there with us.

From another Nelson... Gee, ain't it funny how time just slips away?

Eating Jamaican Black Cake With Ron

The first batch (of five) Jamaican Black Cakes are out of the oven. They get soaked in rum until, a) we think they've had enough or, b) we run out of rum.

We cut into the first cake because we had to test the batch and make sure it's good enough to give to anyone else. My perfectly cut parchment paper bases did the trick. The cake is excellent.

I like the fact that "Rum" is "Ron" in Spanish. I'm just having some cake with Ron (even though my friend Ron lives in Nova Scotia).

Yesterday's blog post inspired me to get the other box of holiday decorations out of the closet so I can display them all.

I haven't done it yet, but at least I'm inspired.

Meanwhile, I thought I'd show you some more of the handmade ornaments I've already set out.

(Click the images... because they get bigger.)

LEFT: SOAKING UP THE RUM.
RIGHT: ALMOST IN NEED OF MORE RUM.

ENOUGH RUM.

One set of ornaments was created by dear old friends in Connecticut. They have two daughters and we all used to love to play Pictionary Junior together. As a going-away gift when we moved to San Diego, California, in 1993, Don and Bev, and Laura and Sarah each created an ornament from one of the Pictionary cards. We will forever cherish the gift and all the memories.

More of San Geraldo's handiwork...

MADE FOR ME IN 1982.

In the Kitchen/Holiday Spirit

NORWEGIAN JULENISSEN PURCHASED IN BERGEN, 1998.
A NISSE IS UNDER 4 FEET TALL AND IS THE [SHORT-TEMPERED] GUARDIAN
OF THE HOME AND FARMSTEAD. 

I'm still in the kitchen. Or maybe I should admit San Geraldo is still in the kitchen while I'm relegated to my office to cut parchment paper into circles for the bottoms of baking pans. Ten pans. Two circles per pan. That's twenty circles! (No need for intelligence briefings for me. "I'm, like, a smart person.")

(Click any image and get in the spirit.)

JAMAICAN BLACK CAKE, DAY THREE, STAGE ONE.
THE GROUND-UP FRUIT (AND BOOZE) MIXTURE. 

Every year, San Geraldo asks me if I want to cut the paper circles for the baking pans. Every year I have been conveniently busy doing something else. He always tries to make his request sound like he wants me to feel a part of the baking process. But I know the truth. He hates cutting these frickin' circles. This year I wasn't prepared to say "no" when he asked. Ten minutes of my life gone, just like that! (OK, you've heard it here; I'll do it from now on.)

SAN GERALDO NOW SAYS THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT.
TOO LATE! OF COURSE, THEY'RE PERFECT.

Meanwhile, although we do not have a Christmas tree (we wouldn't want the cats to have too much fun), I've emptied one of our two Christmas boxes and have strewn (well, carefully placed) decorations around the house. I'm now considering taking out the other box.

SANTAS GIVEN TO US OVER THE YEARS BY OUR NEPHEWS (I.E., THEIR MOTHER).
BUT, WE BOUGHT OURSELVES THE TWO FATTER ONES.

ONE OF MANY ORNAMENTS HAND-MADE BY SAN GERALDO.
(SUSPENDED FROM HIS CROWN OF GENUINE GOLD-COLORED ALUMINUM
AND GENUINE FAUX RUBIES AND EMERALDS).

BOBBLE-BODY SANTA FROM BERGEN, NORWAY.

JULENISSEN HAND-MADE FOR US BY COUSIN ELLEN IN BERGEN.

ANOTHER JULE NISSE FROM COUSINS INGER AND JAN OLAF.

Sweet memories and maybe I'm just a bit more in the holiday spirit.