MAYBE IT'S GENETIC. Many members of my extended family have a gift for saying things aloud that would be better kept to themselves. I have a cousin I adore who regularly tells me things his mother has said to him. His response to his mother is usually, "Um, Mom, you just said that out loud."
Another of my mother's sister's, my Aunt Sylvie, was no different. Once, while she and my mother were staying with us in Santa Barbara, California, she looked at one of our family photos, pointed at Chucky and asked, "Who's that?"
The Duchess said, "That's Chucky."
Sylvie then pointed at my face and said, "No, I know who that is," and again pointed at Chucky and demanded to know, "Who's that?"
"That's Chucky," the Duchess repeated. "The other is Mitchell."
Sylvie was shocked, "That's you?" she said.
And before I could answer, she continued, "I don't remember you being cute. Chucky was always better looking than you."
And as if that weren't enough, she added, "He still is."
My mother would make comments that often left both San Geraldo and me shocked (and offended).
In 2002, our dear friend Judyshannonstreetwhat was visiting us in Santa Barbara and awaiting the arrival of The Duchess. We three met her at the airport. She greeted Judy and me and then suddenly turned to San Geraldo.
"Jerry!" she snapped with disgust, "What's happened to you? You've gotten so fat! I didn't even recognize you!"
Crushed, San Geraldo, calmly replied, "Well, Mim, I think I've only gained 5 pounds since the last time I saw you."
Still without filter, she summed things up, "Well, it's all in your face! You're all cheeks!"
I love his cheeks!
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| CHUCK'S THE CUTE ONE. ALWAYS. CHUCK ES EL GUAPO. SIEMPRE. |
QUIZÁS SEA GENETICO. Muchos miembros de mi familia extensa tienen un regalo para decir cosas en voz alta que sería mejor mantenerse a su mismo. Tengo un primo que adoro que regularmente me dice cosas que su madre le ha dicho. Su respuesta a su madre suele ser, "Um, Ma, lo dijiste en voz alta".
Otra de las hermanas de mi madre, mi tía Sylvie, no era diferente. Una vez, mientras ella y mi madre se quedaban con nosotros en Santa Bárbara, California, ella miró una de nuestras fotos familiares, señaló a El Hermanito y preguntó: "¿Quién es?"
La Duquesa dijo: "Eso es Chucky."
Sylvie me señaló la cara y dijo, "No, ya sé quién es." Y volvió a señalar a Chucky y le preguntó: "¿Quién es?"
"Ese es Chucky," repitió la Duquesa. "El otro es Mitchell."
Sylvie se sorprendió, "¿Eres tú?" ella dijo.
Y antes de que yo pudiera contestar, ella continuó, "No recuerdo que seas lindo. Chucky siempre fue de mejor aspecto que tú."
Y como si eso no fuera suficiente, ella añadió, "Todavía lo es".
Mi madre hacía comentarios que a menudo nos dejaban tanto a San Geraldo como a mí (y ofendidos).
En 2002, nuestro querido amigo Judy nos visitaba en Santa Bárbara y esperando la llegada de La Duquesa. Los tres la conocimos en el aeropuerto. Ella saludó a Judy y a mí y luego de repente se volvió a San Geraldo.
"¡Jerry!" exclamó con disgusto, ¿qué te ha pasado? ¡Te has puesto tan gordo! ¡Ni siquiera te reconocí!
Aplastado, San Geraldo, calmadamente respondió, "Mim, creo que sólo he ganado 5 libras desde la última vez que te vi."
Todavía sin filtro, ella resumió: "Todo está en tu cara! ¡Eres todo mejillas!"
¡Me encantan sus mejillas!
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| FEBRUARY 2002. PALM SPRINGS AIRPORT. JUDY, WITH SAN GERALDO'S BEAUTIFUL CHEEKS. FEBRERO 2002. AEROPUERTO DE PALM SPRINGS. JUDY, CON LAS HERMOSAS MEJILLAS DE SAN GERALDO. |
Despite my best efforts, I sometimes speak before I think, but some people have a real "gift" for it!
ReplyDeleteWilma:
DeleteI think most of us speak before we think. I often regret things that have come out of my mouth. In much of my mother's family, however, they seem to only regret what others say to THEM!
I love the first photo
ReplyDeleteGosia:
DeleteSummer '61. I was 7.
I've been know to say things best left unsaid, so I won't be casting stones at anyone.
ReplyDeleteStephen:
DeleteBut do you feel badly after? That's the difference. I used to call my mother on her hurtful comments (the fat cheeks comment was relatively tame) and she would get incensed, tell me I was too sensitive, and she couldn't believe I would hurt her like that... Oh groan... I finally gave up and simply rolled my eyes ... except when she said things like that to Jerry. We had private conversations about those things... which never did any good either.
Hard to fathom :(
ReplyDeleteJudy:
DeleteOh, the stories I could tell. But I'll only tell the ones that make us laugh.
My mother in law does not keep criticism to herself. It's annoying.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine had a stillbirth, and her sister-in-law apparently blamed her weight for it even though she's not any bigger than "chunky". That did not go over well for what I hear.
Adam:
DeleteIgnorance. Unkindness. Insensitivity. Lack of empathy. I was so lucky to have a mother-in-law who was a gift from heaven!!! The most encouraging, supportive, kind person I've ever met.
My mother - may she rest peacefully - would say things out loud in restaurants and public places in that voice that people who's hearing has degenerated tend to have. More than a few heads where turned - including those of the wearers - when she would loudly (and distainfully) proclaim: Would you look at that dress? Who would wear something like that in public?
ReplyDeleteWillym:
DeleteAnd you I'm sure wanted to simply crawl under the table. My mother could flip in an instant, which was sometimes hilarious... sometimes not so funny.
Every family has an Aunt Sylvie ... in our family, I think it's me ... ?
ReplyDeleteBob:
DeleteAunt Sylvie might actually have been the gentlest of the bunch! And there's a difference between being forthright, honest, and sarcastic and being hurtful and insensitive. I highly doubt that you're the latter.
Well, I think that... um... on second thought, never mind.
ReplyDeleteWalt the Fourth:
DeleteA statement that rarely crossed my mother's lips!
Yes, foot-in-mouth is doubly frustrating for the 'victim' when the speaker isn't aware, even afterwards, what s/he's just said.
ReplyDeleteMy mother once made a remark about my physical body when I was maybe around 12. If only she knew that what she said was to haunt me for my entire subsequent life, just about every day, I'm sure she wouldn't have made it. I only hope that I haven't been guilty of the same to ANYbody, but can't swear that I haven't.
Ray:
DeleteMy father was verbally cruel most of my life and my mother was a mix of loving and supportive and brutally hurtful. I could tell you every one of the physical, intellectual, and social flaws I've ever had -- some of which I now know don't exist -- thanks to my mother. I know how those comments from someone who matters plant in your brain. Getting to know you through blogging, I think you're wonderful!
You're both cute in your own way. My family was so repressed, they wouldn't say $hit if they were standing in it.
ReplyDeleteTravel:
DeleteYour description of your family's repression is one of the best lines I've heard!
Aw shucks, Mitch (Re: your final words in reply to my comment above) - You didn't HAVE to say it, but since you have - More, MORE please! :-)
ReplyDeleteRay:
DeleteJust so you know, a good friend of mine who follows my blog and reads the comments, commented on how much he likes what you have to say.
Ah family. I don't knock them too hard for without them I would be out of a job.
ReplyDeleteSpo:
DeleteI and my family have supported your profession for many years! You're welcome.